Understanding Demisexuality: 10 Signs You Might Be Demisexual

10 Signs You Might Be Demisexual: Understanding the Spectrum of Sexual Attraction

Sexuality is a broad spectrum, and understanding it can sometimes be a complex task. One term that has gained recognition in recent years is ‘demisexuality.’ But what is demisexual? This article aims to shed light on this term, its meaning, and the signs that might indicate you are demisexual.

What is Demisexual?

Demisexuality is a sexual orientation where a person does not experience sexual attraction until they form a strong emotional connection with someone. It’s part of the asexual spectrum, and it’s a reality for many people. It’s not about choosing to abstain from sex or having a low libido; it’s about needing an emotional bond to feel sexual attraction.

10 Signs You Might Be Demisexual

Identifying as demisexual can be a personal journey. Here are ten signs that might indicate you are demisexual:

  • You don’t experience sexual attraction at first sight: Demisexuals typically don’t feel sexually attracted to people they’ve just met. They need time to form a deep emotional connection before experiencing sexual attraction.
  • You value deep emotional connections: For demisexuals, emotional intimacy is a prerequisite for sexual attraction. They often prioritize getting to know someone on a deep level.
  • You’re confused by others’ instant sexual attraction: Demisexuals often find it hard to understand how others can be immediately sexually attracted to someone they’ve just met.
  • You’ve been accused of being ‘picky’ or ‘prudish’: Because demisexuals need a strong emotional bond to feel sexual attraction, they may be perceived as picky or prudish.
  • You don’t enjoy casual sex: Since demisexuals need an emotional connection for sexual attraction, casual sex often doesn’t appeal to them.
  • You’ve had few sexual partners: Demisexuals often have fewer sexual partners due to their need for emotional connection.
  • You’re not sexually attracted to celebrities: While many people experience sexual attraction towards celebrities, demisexuals typically don’t, as they don’t have a personal emotional connection with them.
  • You’re more interested in a person’s character than their physical appearance: While physical attraction can play a role in demisexuality, it’s often secondary to emotional connection.
  • You’ve mistaken deep friendship for romantic feelings: Because demisexuals need deep emotional connections for sexual attraction, they may confuse platonic and romantic feelings.
  • You feel different from your peers: Many demisexuals feel out of step with their peers’ attitudes towards sex and attraction, which can lead to feelings of being different or misunderstood.

Understanding the Spectrum of Sexual Attraction

Sexual attraction is a spectrum, and demisexuality is just one point on that spectrum. It’s important to remember that everyone’s experience with sexuality is unique and valid. If you identify with the signs listed above, you might be demisexual. However, only you can determine your sexual orientation.

Understanding demisexuality and recognizing these signs can help demisexual individuals feel seen and validated. It can also foster greater empathy and understanding among those who don’t identify as demisexual, promoting acceptance and inclusivity for all sexual orientations.


Demisexuality is a valid sexual orientation that requires a deep emotional connection for sexual attraction. If you identify with the signs listed above, you might be demisexual. Remember, understanding your sexuality is a personal journey, and it’s okay to take your time to figure it out. The most important thing is to be true to yourself and respect others’ sexual orientations.

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