Understanding Demisexuality: 10 Signs You Might Be Demisexual

10 Signs You Might Be Demisexual: Understanding the Spectrum of Sexual Attraction

Sexuality is a broad spectrum, and understanding it can sometimes be a complex task. One term that has gained recognition in recent years is ‘demisexuality.’ But what is demisexual? This article aims to shed light on this term, its meaning, and the signs that might indicate you are demisexual.

What is Demisexual?

Demisexuality is a sexual orientation where a person does not experience sexual attraction until they form a strong emotional connection with someone. It’s part of the asexual spectrum, and it’s a reality for many people worldwide. It’s not about choosing to abstain from sex or having a low libido; it’s about experiencing sexual attraction in a different way.

10 Signs You Might Be Demisexual

Identifying as demisexual can be a personal journey. Here are ten signs that might indicate you are demisexual:

  • You rarely experience sexual attraction: Demisexuals do not often feel sexually attracted to people, regardless of how aesthetically pleasing they find them.
  • You need an emotional connection: For demisexuals, a deep emotional bond is a prerequisite for sexual attraction.
  • Sex isn’t a priority for you: While demisexuals can enjoy sex, it’s not usually their main focus in a relationship.
  • You don’t understand casual sex: The concept of one-night stands or casual sex might be confusing or unappealing to demisexuals.
  • You value deep conversations: Demisexuals often prefer deep, meaningful conversations that help them connect emotionally with others.
  • You’re often labelled ‘picky’ or ‘prudish’: Because demisexuals don’t often feel sexual attraction, they may be misunderstood as being overly selective or prudish.
  • You develop attractions to friends: Since emotional connection is key, demisexuals often find themselves attracted to people they’re already close to.
  • You’re not influenced by physical appearance: While demisexuals can appreciate beauty, physical appearance doesn’t dictate their sexual attraction.
  • You feel different from others in terms of sexual attraction: Demisexuals often feel out of step with society’s expectations around sex and attraction.
  • You’re comfortable with being alone: Many demisexuals are comfortable being single and don’t feel the need to seek out sexual relationships.

Understanding the Spectrum of Sexual Attraction

Sexual attraction is a spectrum, and demisexuality is just one point on that spectrum. It’s important to remember that everyone’s experience with their sexuality is unique and valid. Just as with any other sexual orientation, being demisexual is not a choice, but an inherent part of a person’s identity.

Demisexuality in Society

Despite the growing recognition of demisexuality, there’s still a lack of understanding and acceptance in many parts of society. Many demisexuals face invalidation and dismissal of their experiences, often being told that they’re just ‘picky’ or ‘haven’t met the right person yet.’

However, the rise of online communities and resources has helped many demisexuals find validation and support. A 2014 survey by the Asexual Visibility and Education Network found that 13% of respondents identified as demisexual, highlighting the importance of recognizing this orientation.


Understanding demisexuality and recognizing the signs can be a crucial step towards self-discovery and acceptance for many people. It’s important to remember that everyone’s experience with their sexuality is unique and valid. If you identify with the signs listed above, you might be demisexual. However, only you can determine your sexual orientation. If you’re unsure or struggling, consider seeking support from trusted friends, family, or professional counselors.

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