36 Questions That Lead to Love: A Comprehensive Guide

36 Questions to Ask Your Crush That Will Lead to Love: A Listicle Guide

Love is a complex emotion that can be challenging to understand and even more difficult to cultivate. However, a list of 36 questions that lead to love, developed by psychologist Arthur Aron, has been proven to accelerate the process of falling in love. This article will answer common reader questions about these 36 questions, providing a comprehensive guide to using them effectively.

What Are the 36 Questions That Lead to Love?

The 36 questions that lead to love are a set of questions designed to foster intimacy and closeness between two people. They are divided into three sets, with each set intended to be more probing than the previous one. The questions range from simple inquiries like “What would constitute a perfect day for you?” to more personal ones such as “What is your most treasured memory?”

How Do the 36 Questions Work?

The 36 questions work by gradually escalating the level of self-disclosure between two people. This process of mutual vulnerability fosters closeness and intimacy, which can lead to love. A study conducted by Aron found that participants who asked each other these questions felt closer to each other than participants who engaged in small talk.

How to Use the 36 Questions?

Using the 36 questions that lead to love is simple. You and your partner should take turns asking each other the questions, making sure to listen attentively to each other’s responses. It’s important to answer each question honestly and openly, as the effectiveness of the questions relies on mutual vulnerability.

Can the 36 Questions Be Used in Existing Relationships?

Yes, the 36 questions can be used in existing relationships to deepen the connection between partners. They can help couples understand each other better and strengthen their bond. In fact, many couples have reported feeling more in love after asking each other these questions.

Do the 36 Questions Actually Lead to Love?

While the 36 questions can foster closeness and intimacy, they are not a guaranteed path to love. Love is a complex emotion that involves more than just intimacy. However, the questions can certainly help create the conditions necessary for love to develop.

Examples of the 36 Questions That Lead to Love

  • “Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?”
  • “Would you like to be famous? In what way?”
  • “Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?”
  • “What would constitute a perfect day for you?”
  • “When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?”

Case Study: The 36 Questions in Action

A New York Times article titled “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This” recounts the author’s experience using the 36 questions. The author and her partner, who were merely acquaintances at the time, decided to ask each other the questions. They reported feeling an intense bond after the exercise, and they eventually fell in love.


The 36 questions that lead to love are a powerful tool for fostering intimacy and closeness. While they may not guarantee love, they can certainly create the conditions necessary for love to develop. Whether you’re looking to fall in love or deepen your existing relationship, these questions are worth a try.

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